It appears to me that the intensity of the reaction an individual has to a rejection is inversely proportional to the trust they have in the idea of a higher power.
Let's say a person has very little belief in something more perceptive, orderly, or structured than himself. He will not pray or surrender or feel his connection to any type of creator/source/deeper order/life force.
He is dependent merely upon his thinking for guidance, and does not think in any sort of bigger picture than what he is able to perceive with his 5 senses. When an individual with that consciousness believes he has met his one and only, but she does not share his perception, then every little thing goes out of whack in his world.
She may consider their plight to be a simple case of incompatibility in some significant area, but he perceives a personal rejection, and feels as if there's something wrong with him that he has to mend.
I can't envision a more powerless and helpless position to be in than feeling like there's something wrong with you that will keep you from ever having what you desire, and not understanding how or becoming in a position to make yourself to fix it.
In comparison, let's look in on a person of faith, whether it be religious, spiritual, or contemplative/experiential. When a woman gets the memo that a new prospect doesn't feel exactly the same type of potential for a fulfilling and developing partnership that they do, her reaction occurs on another level.
She might feel some grief or sadness, but they don't perceive the other person's opinion as a statement of judgment about who they are as an individual.
She basically accepts that her time with him was brief, and her trust in a greater power enables them to relax, mainly because he or she doesn't feel that she is at the wheel and then took a wrong turn and had better get herself and him back on track.
So if I was going to give any tips to my fellow swimmers, it would be this: Focus a lot more of your energy on cultivating a relationship with a higher power greater than your mind and senses, and a smaller amount of your energy on locating your best match.
Use doubleyourdating tips in conjunction with reading the game neil strauss book to get a broader viewpoint on the dating scene. Then you may marvel in the graciousness of letting individuals come and go from your life, as they are wired to do, and you'll really feel the freedom to do the same while following neil strauss dating guidelines.
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